Nothing left for me to do but drink my own pee

Nailed it.

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 08:53:16 -0800

Nailed it.

Product placement

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:51:59 -0800

Twitter/dwineman

GE executive: “Do you like the Cisco equipment?
Jack Donaghy: “Of course. It continues to be the gold standard by which all business technology is judged!”

YouTube - “30 Rock - Cisco Telepresence”

Desi Arnaz: “Hey, the last one! You’d better get another pack!”
Lucille Ball: “Okay!”

YouTube - “Lucy and Desi pimp Philip Morris Cigarettes”

Wayne Campbell: “Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor.”

YouTube - “Wayne’s World - Sponsors”

David Lynch: “Product placement in a film putrifies the environment.”

YouTube - David Lynch on Product Placement

I’ve tried on more than one occasion to articulate to a friend of mine what bothers me about the way 30 Rock handles product placement. I think the closest I have come is this: when they turn on this ironic, “buck the system” way of dealing with something that is an unfortunate part of their job (to write in product endorsement), they are really just taking the easiest way out - writing it as plainly as possible - with the expectation that viewers will feel it’s funny that the writers hate having to do it as much as we hate having to watch it. What I actually end up feeling is that they have found the path of least resistance to converting their problems into my problems. In short, now I am being advertised to in the middle of the content, and nobody even cares enough to try and make it less painful. It’s distractingly insulting and takes me out of the show to a point that I want to stop watching. And no Coke can on Friends ever did that.

There was a particularly bad episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia a few weeks ago that was clearly sponsored by Dave & Buster’s. The extent to which the sponsorship dictated the content was appalling - but they wrote an entire episode around it and I have to respect the effort that went into that.

It’s awful that we’ve come here at all, but as far as execution goes the 30 Rock approach makes me feel like they think I’m dumber than I am, and it gets more irritating with each iteration.

baileygenine: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Home For...

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:53:35 -0800

baileygenine:

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Home

For some reason, I am addicted to this song. The girl singing has this powerful voice that you would never expect to come out of someone so tiny, and the guy sings so, easily, for lack of a better word (I’m really drawing a blank here). Watch this video for a better idea of what I’m trying to say, or you can just enjoy this version right here.

To give credit where credit is due, secretsquirrel, I owe you one. (He also has a tumblr.)

I came upon this track via the same source, and also found it to be magnificent.

thememegeneration: Why is Obama on the cover of the Japanese...

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:59:27 -0800

thememegeneration:

Why is Obama on the cover of the Japanese Goodnight Moon?

The question is why isn’t he on the American one, you unpatriotic racist.

Both of those logos are awesome.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:55:00 -0800

Both of those logos are awesome.

One of the fascinating things about kids developing is the way...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:18:08 -0800

One of the fascinating things about kids developing is the way some things just click. One of the frustrating things is you don’t get to be in their mind when it happens. Three days ago, something snaps in this one’s head and suddenly she colors with purpose. Wild.

You can dye your hair, but it’s the one thing you can...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:25:00 -0800

You can dye your hair, but it’s the one thing you can change.

From This is Hardcore, among my most-listened and most-loved records.

Pulp : Help The Aged

Love it, for one day you will live it.

I have been ever-so-slowly re-converting my music collection to a lossless format. I’m...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:56:36 -0800

I have been ever-so-slowly re-converting my music collection to a lossless format. I’m starting with the things I listen to the most, and love the most. I cannot recommend this enough. I’ve been listening to MP3 long enough that I really had not realized how much gets lost in the compression. I mean, I knew. I always knew, especially in my heart, that it was wrong. But you get used to it. You learn to ignore the awful gurgling sounds that, if you listen closely enough, have been injected into everything you listen to.

The life of music is in the high end. Everything is in the high end. Any definition in your low end? Guess what, that’s because of a clean high end. Sounds sexy. Is sexy. MP3 destroys your high end. Takes it in, chews it up, and spits out what is essentially random noise designed to trick you into ignoring it. You’ve fucked up all of your music and you keep obtaining more that has already been destroyed for you, in the name of saving hard disk space.

Well I say no more. Well, not no more. I’ll still listen to MP3s. Probably still buy them even. But I’m falling in love again with music I have owned for twenty years, and it’s because I can hear things again. I can hear the clarity of the recording remarkably close to the way it was understood that the listener would (or should) hear it. It’s airy, it’s spacious, it envelops.

Some may say they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, but I bet they would. An audio engineer’s opinion on that may not carry a lot of weight, depending on how you look at it, but I think a lot of people are underestimating the importance of clarity in the way people perceive music.

Better music, not more. Refresh.

fireland: yourmonkeycalled: In case you need to run from the...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:03:13 -0800

fireland:

yourmonkeycalled:

In case you need to run from the airport to my new house, here’s the route.

It’s 3 miles. Should take you about half an hour if you’re in decent shape or being chased by TSA dogs.

This is almost exactly where a smooth, pale youngster by the name of Me came of age. I was in Burlingame, Calif., home of the Burlingame Museum of Pez Memorabilia and the IT’S IT factory, from fifth thru twelfth grade.

You see the little coastline near the Hyatt? That’s where I first touched a boob for real. We were supposed to go over to someone’s house and watch … I dunno, Evil Dead 2, probably? But then we got into the whole boob thing and ran late.

Folks, there were no cellphones in those days. Those were the days when you’d be in the middle of a boob session and say, you know what, let’s ditch that party and just keep doing this. And later you could blame it on something stupid like traffic because there were no cellphones and nobody ever really knew where you were.

This is a scary crazy coincidence - I am outside the house, right now, touching my boobs. No. Shit.

Is this the greatest song ever? Five...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:14:08 -0800

Is this the greatest song ever?

Five seconds.

Quickly…

I’m sorry, the answer was yes. Yes.

The Vaselines : Day I Was a Horse

Many moons ago I had a split live cassette of Beat Happening and the Vaselines. It was my first exposure to the Vaselines. They are good. I like them. That was a good cassette.

spratt: ihateshaneface. Good. Good. Yeah. Again. Slower. Turn...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:50:24 -0800

spratt:

ihateshaneface.

Good. Good. Yeah. Again. Slower.

Turn around. Mmmmmmmmm.

biorhythmist: (via singlebychoice) HEE-HEE!!! THIS IS WHAT WE...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:51:28 -0800

biorhythmist:

(via singlebychoice)

HEE-HEE!!! THIS IS WHAT WE COULD HAVE BEEN!!!

Downed power line kills 13 animals

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 23:30:17 -0800

Downed power line kills 13 animals:

Ok, it’s sad, but the way it happened is also kind of fascinating.

ladymisskate: thedailywhat: Luggage Design Concept of the Day:...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:03:00 -0800

ladymisskate:

thedailywhat:

Luggage Design Concept of the Day: “Suited Case” by designer Erik De Nijs for Dutch Design Week 09 — a 4-piece upholstered luggage set that can be pieced together to form a couch.

You know, for those really, really long layovers.

[via.]

Never go full retard.

This is exactly what I’ve been looking for, for those times when I can afford four fucking bags but not a small sofa, or those other times when I am travelling, need four fucking bags, am willing to compromise on the functionality and manageability of every one of them, have a really long time to jerk around, and can’t find anywhere reasonable to put my ass.

This reminds me of when everyone in my fourth grade class was instructed to draw an invention. I designed an amazing machine involving conveyor belts, gears, funnels, pulleys, three kinds of heating devices - the works. What did it do? It popped fucking popcorn.

These bastards in our so-called “health system” have...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:22:34 -0800

These bastards in our so-called “health system” have pulled the wool for long enough. Something must be done. Please reblog.

ivegotzooms: Every year after Halloween I am required to go to...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:42:29 -0800

ivegotzooms:

Every year after Halloween I am required to go to my parents’ house and pick up their leftover candy. Every year I look forward to this because it is the physical evidence I need to prove to my husband that while my mom is a nice, wonderful human being (the only part he sees) - she’s also a lot ridiculous (the part I’m all too familiar with.) There’s nothing better than an “I TOLD YOU SO” that you can pick up from your parents’ house every year, cart home and throw on the coffee table.

The picture above is their leftover candy. Yes, an entire doc box full of it. Only, what’s that? Why yes, my mom has meticulously meted out equal servings for each of the 100 zip loc sandwich baggies in the box. She does it every year.

She also tells me every visit that the neighborhood is full of “people on and dealing drugs.” Really mom? Mind explaining the lovingly weighed confections you are handing out in baggies? All you’re missing is a little apron emblem with the words “I know what you’re up to” silk screened on each one.

Also, if you were to ask my mom why I have a tumblr account when I clearly don’t have the time or ability to keep up with the people I follow, she would tell you it is because I didn’t listen when she told me for the 3,456,367,654,345th time:

1. “When you get here, make sure you pull all the way into the driveway. If you let your truck hang over the sidewalk, the police will give you a parking ticket. You might not think so, but that cop stalks our street. I’ve seen it.”

2. “Don’t park in the street on the first Monday of the month, that is street cleaning day. And then you will get an expensive ticket.” She told me this even though today is Tuesday.

3. “Watch out for Duchess.” When I asked who that was, she said it is the neighbor’s dog who loves everyone and will run up and knock you over if you don’t expect it. I know who Duchess is, but mom relies on me to participate in the show by saying my lines on time, every time.

4. “Don’t forget to order your dinner without cheese. It makes you sick.”

5. “Don’t leave the candy in your car tomorrow. Make sure you take it to the office tomorrow. If you don’t take it to the office tomorrow, some of it will melt. You might not think so, but some of that stuff will melt right up.”

6. “When you go to leave, make sure you check the street for children behind your truck. Children can end up behind your truck in an instant. AN INSTANT. Watch out for the children.”

Sometimes when my parents are out of town and I’m taking care of the house? I park my truck in the street and I also park it in the driveway so the bed hangs out over the sidewalk. And I dance, and laugh, and dance and laugh. Someday I’m going to make a video of it.

I have never wanted to see a video so badly in my entire life. Friends, listen: @ivegotzooms is not funny. She is humor itself. She is the muse, the natural wit I wish I could be. I only wish the avatar with the shoes would come back.

rrrrred: Rorshach (via Rrrrred) Under this mask is the most...

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 19:34:50 -0800

rrrrred:

Rorshach (via Rrrrred)

Under this mask is the most awesome guy I know.

Bullshit, I went as a priest.

FINISH HIM

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:13:06 -0800

I think people who only write 50,000 words in November and people who dedicate their energy to writing as a lifestyle should just fight to the death, because really, I’m pretty sure we don’t need both kinds, but I’m not about to judge which is more useful.

When you add someone to a list with a name like this, what it...

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:59:00 -0800

When you add someone to a list with a name like this, what it really means is “I don’t think you’re cool enough to think you’re cooler than me,” or, “I think your failure to reciprocate requires an explanation.”

I should know, because I took Psychology 101.

Peace be with you and whatnot.

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 01:44:23 -0800

Peace be with you and whatnot.