Nothing left for me to do but drink my own pee

If you are paying prices like these for a pile of ones and zeros...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:41:38 -0800

If you are paying prices like these for a pile of ones and zeros you can’t even share, PLEASE STOP, pay a visit to your local library’s audio section, and help the market understand how insane that is. Holy sweet mother, what a mess the world of books in electronic form has become.

I think it captures me.

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 10:34:25 -0800

I think it captures me.

Hanging in my office for some time, I’m taking this one...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:08:38 -0800

Hanging in my office for some time, I’m taking this one home for safe keeping. The 7yo made this when she was just starting to write, I guess. Not sure when. She was and is a delightful weirdo.

Fuck you, you’re gratuitous.

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:03:33 -0800

Fuck you, you’re gratuitous.

What I actually said was that this was the first time in her...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 22:31:59 -0800

What I actually said was that this was the first time in her life (or mine) that I would consider it. She put on some weight, she looked good. What can I say.

CRRAAAAAAANBERRY SAAAUUUUUCE....

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:18:11 -0800

fireland: mrgan: Andy Daly kills it in perhaps my favorite bit...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:12:24 -0800

fireland:

mrgan:

Andy Daly kills it in perhaps my favorite bit of stand-up comedy ever. It’s glorious. (The whole album, Comedy Death Ray, is excellent.)

Yay! One of my all-time favorites, too. The Paul F. Tompkins set that opens the album is also pretty unimpeachable. Speaking of, he has a new album coming out on 12/1 which makes me kind of sweaty w/excitement because his first album Impersonal is maybe my all-time favorite comedy LP.

My wife and I listened to Comedy Death Ray on a road trip a year or so back and it was amazing. Fred Armisen does a pretty terrible watered down version of this very thing on SNL from time to time, and I always think back to how hard I was laughing while I was trying to drive during Daly’s bit.

And I’m sure I’ve mentioned it a couple times before, but no kidding, Impersonal is epic. Same road trip. Same good times.

Honey reads at his own risk.

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:38:00 -0800

Honey reads at his own risk. :

This was a surprisingly enjoyable read about one reluctant Twilight saga fan’s experience with the second film. I think it goes some distance toward making sense of the conflict inside many of the people I know who find the whole package to be at once tremendously stupid and unavoidably compelling. A word of warning: there seem to be spoilers in here, not that I would know, which aren’t called out clearly except in the title, as a pretty explicit warning to a certain huge Twilight fan we know and love.

Myself, I didn’t read the books but my wife did and so I’ve seen the first movie. I thought it was pretty alright, actually, with the exception of the baseball scene that I have come to sound like a broken record in describing as the most thoroughly ridiculous five minutes ever committed to film. See, the vampire family can only play baseball during thunderstorms, because it sounds like thunder when they hit the ball. No, I don’t know what their bats are made of. Some kind of superstrong vampire wood, I guess.

prolix21: ronbailey: prolix21: bmckinney: morningstar: lee:...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:46:06 -0800

prolix21:

ronbailey:

prolix21:

bmckinney:

morningstar:

lee:

paulscheer:

SARAH PALIN PARKING LOT

America, I Am Disappoint of the Day: Sarah Palin supporters, gathered outside a Going Rogue book signing event in Columbus, Ohio, are presented with basic questions about her policy positions.

Vacularity ensues.

[via.]

Just sad America.

“…you will see crowds like this wherever Sarah Palin goes”

yeah! i want her as president even though i know nothing about her ideas, policies and her other fucking fringe lunatic beliefs and behavior.

seriously, fuck you america - you reap what you sow. until this country gets a fucking education we’re all doomed.

I’d have to disagree… these bozos represent a simple-minded ugly fringe that absolutely got it’s collective ass kicked just over a year ago. As long as you young guys pay attention and stay involved and VOTE, these morons are nothing more than modern-day electoral dodo birds.

it’s the same modern-day electoral dodo birds who elected george w bush twice

Just taking a second to point out that this is pure bullshit journalism. This is Fox News for the liberal elite. And guess what, in the democracy you so love, if there are more of them who actually get off their butts and rally around something than there are of you, they win and we get President Palin. And it’s not going to be because they’re stupid, it’s going to be because the part of America that thinks it’s so fuckin’ smart was too busy diddling themselves with videos of middle America being the only thing it knows how to be than actually striking up a useful conversation with them. I’m nothing near what I should be in that regard myself, but this stuff where we use misguided, exploitative, obviously skewed journalistic technique to make fun of people who have their heads up their asses just makes us bitter and jaded, and does exactly jack shit to actually extract those heads from those asses.

Whole lotta Bez.

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 12:28:49 -0800

Whole lotta Bez.

merlin: [via] This is why Charlie trusted her. Every damn...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:14:40 -0800

merlin:

[via]

This is why Charlie trusted her. Every damn time.

thisistheglamorous: wondertonic Making damn sure my pal...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:14:00 -0800

thisistheglamorous:

wondertonic

Making damn sure my pal texburgher sees this.

A plywood print from a graphic story called “Maxine”...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:46:00 -0800

A plywood print from a graphic story called “Maxine” which I’m not sure was ever finished, given to me by the artist, Dale Flattum. I’m very fond of this picture, and finally got it hung in the new place today. It’s followed us to a few homes now.

biorhythmist: “They’re still in my mouth but I miss them already” — me just now re: the last of...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 12:05:15 -0800

biorhythmist:

“They’re still in my mouth but I miss them already”

— me just now re: the last of the Jelly Belly® sours :(

You heard the man, California. Gas up, we’re heading North to the Jelly Belly factory.

BY THE WAY

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:54:25 -0800

When I encounter something that confuses me or just moves too goddamn fast, my first inclination is to blame it for being misguided or some shit. The Venture Bros AIN’T THAT. That show is outright amazing and I am dumb for not keeping up and you should be watching it because it transcends humor into some other realm where comedy only exists for the intelligent. My god.

I choose to celebrate my first child’s virthday witf vodka and apple juice and mini hersheys...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:41:36 -0800

I choose to celebrate my first child’s virthday witf vodka and apple juice and mini hersheys with almonds and the prisoner and the venture brothers and elebits. I WILL NOT BE JUDGED

Seven.

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:20:10 -0800

Seven.

Six years, three hundred sixty-four days, twenty-three hours and...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:19:12 -0800

Six years, three hundred sixty-four days, twenty-three hours and fifty-nine minutes.

Mistaken identity

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 13:49:17 -0800

Now that I understand smartasshat’s “RIP weselec” thing, which goes back a few days to luckyshirt tumbling one of my tweets (thank you) and somebody else in turn lazily half-attributing it to him on twitter, it all makes sense. I’ve only had a joke stolen once or twice, but have been denied credit due to silly mistakes an easy dozen times. This does not bother me; I’m pretty used to it. Probably because I’ve been trained to answer to “Shawn,” which my grandmother called me more than once, and also because of that one time my mom took the wrong kid home from the mall. I am nondescript. I do not leave impressions. I have chosen to embrace this. That’s why only a small percentage of you have figured out that I’m your dad, and that’s how I like it.

Congratulations, this is officially the creepiest joke that I...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:21:40 -0800

Congratulations, this is officially the creepiest joke that I don’t get ever.